5 Things that Terrify Me

( About Moving to Singapore)


  1. I have to find an apartment. In a foreign country. In a month. On a budget.
I have over-prepared for this. I have been trolling propertyguru and easyroommate ( Singaporean apartment sites) for months, but I am still terrified. I had a bad apartment situation in west-Germany that I really don’t want to repeat.   I want a nice place, with nice roommates that is close to work and maybe close to a park or running trail ( assuming I can survive the Singapore heat and go for runs outside). I think I will start feeling less nervous as soon as I start scheduling viewings etc. But until then. Yeh.

2. Work.

I have been working for about 9 months but moving to Singapore feels like I will be starting a whole new job. All of my network and coworker friends are staying in California so I’m feeling a bit alone in Singapore.  I have lived abroad before , enough to realize that the transition is going to be tough and adding that to an already tough and somewhat stressful job worries me a bit. I’m sure this will also go away as soon as I head to my new office and get settled. But until then…

3.  Making Friends.

I have moved around  a LOT. I am used to being the new kid in school or the new kid on the block. That doesn’t mean that it’s easy. Making friends is harder when you are out of school and can’t find as many people your age with your interests. It took me a good 4 months in California to find a good group of people and even longer to get settled. I’m not looking forward to that transition period in Singapore.

4. Packing.

Yeh. I already have some belongings in Singapore but now I need to pack and prepare for the much longer stint in Singapore. I move around a LOT and yet, still really, really hate packing.  At one point in my life I lived months out of one 25 lbs backpack and now every time I pack I wonder what in the heck all of this stuff is for ( while I , at the same time, cant seem to leave any of it behind). Packing stinks.

5. Those low moments.

When  I have lived abroad in the past I have noticed there are three distinct phases. There is the “honeymoon” when everything is cool and exciting. Then there is the “crash” when all you can think about is how you really, really want to go HOME. Even if , as in my case, you’re not quite sure where “home” is. There is that incredible wish to be in a place where you don’t stand out. This is especially true when living in places where your appearance means you are foreign. The last time I have really experienced this I was 16 and living in Japan- but I’m still nervous about this phenomenon in Singapore. Never have I understood white privilege in the US  more than when living in a place where my appearance marked me as other. Eventually you reach “even keel” where you at last start to view this new place as your home and are used to dealing with the day to day. That last bit is going to take a while…


I am excited to move to Singapore. In fact, I can’t wait, it’s an amazing opportunity. But its also pretty scary. I have a good idea of what the transition will be like. This is great, but just because I know what it might be like doesn’t mean I am any more prepared for it.

Its like a roller coaster. I know exactly which turns and loops there are , and our velocity. But this doesn’t mean I’m not scared shitless. Then again. Nothing good happens unless you’re scared shitless.



One comment

  1. xinlit · December 27, 2015

    When I left my country, I pretty much tossed everything behind me. Not saying I won’t miss my family, but i got so busy with the new culture and learning in general I didn’t have time to look back. Not saying I had no regrets about life over that period but there is very little I could do. You get to where you are with your instinct. Life is not like a video game where there’s a way to heck it and be the winner, that’s for native people.

    Don’t look back, look forward. When in panic mode, look at cute kitten pic.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s